Brooklyn Skate Moms
"I didn‘t want to be on the passenger seat. I wanted my own car, my own low rider, and I wanted to drive it myself," explains Sandy Avila from Los Angeles. The 40-year-old mother of four not only built her own low rider, but also founded one of the few female low rider clubs. "We used to be just the wives and girlfriends who dressed kids for the car shows and helped clean the cars," says Sandy.
What started as an occasional distraction during the pandemic has evolved into a tight-knit community: The Brooklyn Skate Moms are a group of women who meet at the skate park after the morning commute to school and before work. For these mums, skating is not just a hobby, but a moment to take a deep breath, a place of friendship and personal growth - and sometimes also an outlet to relieve the pressures of everyday life. Every fall is cheered, as is every successful trick. It's a place where they can be themselves, away from their roles as mums, partners and professionals.
Nagisa
Nagisa is preparing onigiri - Japanese rice balls wrapped in seaweed. She carefully wraps the rice in plastic film. ‘My children don't like it when the rice sticks to the seaweed,’ she explains with a smile. It is still early in the morning in her small flat in the Polish neighbourhood of Greenpoint. In the living room, two of her three daughters, Akina and Kanna, are lying on the sofa watching TikTok videos, mesmerised. The eldest daughter is still asleep. ‘Teenagers sleep for an incredibly long time,’ remarks her husband, pouring himself a cup of coffee. There's no school today because there's an election in the USA. Nagisa shoos her two daughters up. ‘Let's go to skate lessons!’ she shouts.
At the age of 17, Nagisa's mother makes the decision to send her to Canada for the last two years of high school. At the time, she barely spoke a word of English. The first few months are extremely challenging. Nagisa often spends the breaks alone and struggles with homesickness. ‘In Japan, I was the most popular girl. Here I don't talk to anyone. I cried every night for three months,’ she remembers. But over time, she began to make new friends, mainly through art and sports lessons. It was only years later that she realised how much this time had hardened her: ‘I became completely independent so early in life.
After graduating, Nagisa moves to the USA to study art in California. She later follows an inspiring teacher to New York, where she continues her education and meets her future husband. The city captivated her from the very first moment. ‘This energy, people were already out and about at five in the morning,’ she remembers. She lived in small flats, sometimes without her own bathroom or kitchen. The transition to working life was difficult. ‘I tried to find a job in the art world, but it was hard,’ she says. She works as a translator for Japanese films and television programmes, but finds the work boring and restrictive.
Despite professional uncertainties, Nagisa always knew that she wanted to start a family. ‘Of course I wanted to have children, I'm a woman’. Together with her husband, whom she had met at art school, she eventually started a family. Motherhood brings new challenges. As a young mother, Nagisa often felt insecure and isolated. ‘I constantly thought that everything I was doing was wrong’. But with her third daughter at the latest, she became more relaxed. ‘What I've learnt from raising my children is that I can't control them. They are people too. They have their own personalities and their own decisions.’
Then skateboarding came into her life, encouraged by her youngest daughter Kanna. ‘She said: ‘I'll learn if you skate with me’,’ says Nagisa. It was difficult at first. ‘You think that because you've been snowboarding or surfing for years, you're better, but it's so different and so scary,’ she says. Skating also teaches her how to fall properly. ‘You learn to roll to cushion the impact, like in martial arts,’ she explains. For her, falling is a central part of the learning process. ‘If you don't fall, you're not trying hard enough,’ she says. ’You learn from your falls.’ The sense of achievement motivates her immensely. ‘Something that I was afraid of and that seemed impossible became doable,’ she says.
Catee
“Skateboarding is hard. It’s scary. And it’s fun,” says Catee, a mother of two. The 42-year-old lives in Brooklyn, New York, with her family. For her, motherhood is an important part of her identity, but not the only part. “I love my kids deeply,” she says, “but I’ve never believed they should be 100 percent of my life. I need my own pursuits, my own passions. It makes me a better mom, and honestly, it makes me happier as a person.”
When she first arrived in New York, it wasn’t for the city. “I had never intended to stay here,” she admits, recalling her move while working with Doctors Without Borders. Soon after, she met her husband. Adjusting to the urban grind, however, wasn’t easy for an outdoors enthusiast who had spent years snowboarding in the Canadian mountains and planting trees in remote forests. “Everyone here was climbing a ladder. It felt like life revolved around work. I missed doing something that wasn’t about achieving or surviving.”
Her escape came in the form of a surfboard. “My husband encouraged me to try surfing. He bought me a board and lessons after our daughter was born,” she says. Surfing quickly became a way to reconnect with nature and herself. “It slowed my heart rate,” she reflects. “I’d bring my newborn daughter to the beach, surf for a bit, then come back to breastfeed. It was chaotic, but it worked.”
Surfing eventually led to skateboarding, though unintentionally. Her first skateboard was a charity auction purchase made by her husband. “I signed up for an adult skate class in 2019, but then the pandemic hit, and I didn’t touch it for years,” she recalls. A trip to a skate park in Montauk in 2022 reignited her connection to skating. “I realized how great it felt to just do something fun with my son. No nagging about homework, no rules—just skating.” What began as a casual activity quickly turned into a weekly ritual. Soon she met other moms who found similar joy in the sport. “Skating with other women brought a new energy,” she says. “We’d laugh at ourselves, support each other, and celebrate every small win.”
Catee’s approach to motherhood challenges conventional expectations. “Motherhood can be so all-consuming. You wake up, take care of everyone else, and before you know it, the day is gone,” she explains. “Skating and surfing remind me that I’m more than a mom. They give me space to think, to be playful, and to challenge myself.” While some may see her choices as selfish or question her parenting, she pushes back against this double standard. “I know fathers who spend more time surfing and skating than I do, yet no one questions if they’re good dads,” she points out. “If I give up who I am entirely, what am I teaching my kids? That one day their childrens’ happiness will cost them their identity? That’s not the lesson that I want for them.”
Lara
Lara is sitting on a brown fabric sofa in her ground floor flat in trendy Williamsburg. Outside, the thermometer shows an unusual 28 degrees for November. Outside the high, dimmed windows, a couple of children run noisily past. At the weekend, Lara took her daughter to a skate competition in San Diego. ‘Marcela won against 37 other girls,’ she says proudly as she scrolls through the videos on her mobile phone. On the screen, Marcela skates skilfully through the bowl on her skateboard, elegantly going up and down. On the coffee table is the trophy, a knee pad labelled ‘1st Exposure’. A sign with the words ‘I love Brooklyn’ leans next to it.
Inspired by 16-year-old professional skateboarder Sky Brown, who encourages other young girls to fearlessly pursue their passions, Lara decided to give Marcela a skateboard a few years ago. ‘I wanted her to get that confidence and find something all her own,’ she explains. Marcela is enthusiastic about it and is fully committed to the sport. Her determination also infects Lara. ‘I started skating last year,’ says Lara. ‘It feels like meditation, you have to be completely focussed.’ Through skating, Lara came across the Brooklyn Skate Moms, a group of women who meet regularly. ‘Our meetings have become a space where we face our fears and encourage each other.’
Lara is originally from Caracas, Venezuela. In 1998, she moved to the United States to study photography. ‘New York was always the place where everything was happening,’ she says, ’I wanted to be part of that energy. Her career took off as she worked with prominent magazines and organised successful exhibitions. But when she became a mother in 2008, everything changed. ‘I always wanted to be a mum,’ admits Lara. ‘But I was afraid that it would stop me from achieving everything I wanted to achieve.’ As her husband at the time was working long hours as a doctor, Lara had to take on most of the parenting duties herself. ‘I thought I could do it all, but I felt like I was losing myself,’ she recalls. ‘My husband didn't recognise how hard I worked at home. My photography was seen as a hobby, not a job.’
The lack of support in her relationship gnawed away at Lara's self-esteem for years. ‘I constantly felt like I wasn't good enough,’ she says. ’I was emotionally drained.’ During the pandemic, Lara picked up her camera again after a long break. ‘It was like waking up from a long sleep,’ she says, adding: ’I realised that I couldn't go on living like this.’ In 2021, she decided to end her marriage. ‘It was a difficult decision, but I had to get my life back,’ explains Lara. ‘I didn't want to stay in an unfulfilling situation out of fear.’ Returning to photography and turning to skating were decisive for Lara's future life path. ‘Skateboarding taught me perseverance,’ she says. ’You have to keep trying, even if you fall.’
Shannon
On a cool but sunny November morning, Shannon drives with her eight-year-old son Grayson towards Manhattan to the Pier 61 skate park. ‘One of the most beautiful skate parks in New York,’ she explains with anticipation, driving her small car through the typical weekend traffic over the Brooklyn Bridge. Shannon then recalls the beginnings of her passion for skateboarding. ‘The first time I stood on a skateboard was when I was 20. My boyfriend at the time was a skater,’ she says. At the time, she was attending college in Gainesville, Florida. ‘He gave me a skateboard, and that's how it all started.’ After college, she moved to New York City, leaving behind her life in Florida and the boyfriend who didn't want to move. In the early 90s, skateboarding was dominated by men. ‘I didn't find any other women skating in New York and it was intimidating to only skate with strange boys,’ she says. Gradually, skating fell out of favour.
However, when Shannon was in the middle of a separation at the age of 40 and felt that it might be her last chance to start a family, she found her way back to skateboarding. ‘I was going through profound changes and felt overwhelmed,’ she explains. ’I was looking for something to clear my head.’ A TED talk by professional skateboarder Rodney Mullen inspired her: ‘He talked about how skaters fall down again and again and still get up. That was exactly the message I needed.’
She gets herself a new board, explores the skate parks in Brooklyn and takes lessons. Shortly afterwards, she meets her current partner James. Two years later, their son Grayson was born. Motherhood brings new challenges and means much less time. Once again, she has to put her skateboard in the cupboard. But when Grayson turns six, Shannon enrols him in a weekly skate camp. ‘We always skated together for an hour before class.’ She met other mums at the skate park. ‘We should all get together and form a community,’ she thinks and collects their phone numbers.
Although learning tricks doesn't get any easier at her age and the risk of injury increases, Shannon can no longer imagine life without skating. After injuring her knee, it took her a few months before she was able to skate again without pain and was confident enough to do so. ‘Skating just makes me so happy. I love the adrenaline rush.’ Her son Grayson's enthusiasm for skateboarding fluctuates. ‘There was a phase when he didn't want to do it at all. Which in turn meant that I couldn't go skating as often either.’ Luckily, he recently met a friend with whom he often skates together and also takes lessons.
In the meantime, the Brooklyn Skate Moms have become an important part of her social environment. ‘As a parent, it's incredibly difficult to maintain friendships,’ she says, ’but it's a problem that all skate mums share, so I manage to meet up with my friends at least once or twice a week.’ She also recommends this hobby to other parents and says: ‘Skating is about personal growth and connecting with other people. It's not about looking as cool or successful as possible.’
Sue
It is still dark outside when Sue, her husband Scott and their son Julian stand in the dimly lit kitchen. Scott is buttering his son's sandwich while he stands wearily by. At the dining table, Sue and Julian spread out exercise books and pencils and do the last of their homework. The family lives in a tree-lined block of flats in Brooklyn. After breakfast, Sue drives her son to Manhattan, where Julian goes to school. Sue, who comes from Toronto, grew up in a family of Taiwanese and Chinese immigrants. She discovered New York during an exchange year at college. ‘I fell in love with the city and knew immediately that I wanted to come back,’ she says.
When Julian turns six, the family decides to take up skateboarding. They buy skateboards and enrol Julian in a local skate club. While Julian learns new tricks, Sue stays at the edge of the park and slowly pushes her board in front of her. ‘I saw the really good skaters doing tricks and thought: ‘Wow, that looks great, but I could never do that’.’ She gets to know Shannon, another mum at the skate park. The two hit it off and their sons became friends. ‘I looked up to Shannon with admiration and realised that I could only improve if I skated as much as possible’. Over time, the group grew and attracted more mums.
For Sue, skating is more than just a hobby. ‘It has shown me that I can take on new challenges and try things I never thought possible, even as a mum. And that's a great feeling.’ Julian, now nine, easily trumps her when it comes to tricks. ‘Yes, he's definitely better,’ laughs Sue. ‘But that only motivates me even more.’
